My Last Vacation Was a Scam
Look, I get it. You’re tired. Work’s a grind. You wanna go somewhere, plop down on a beach chair, and have someone else worry about your committment to fun. I used to think all-inclusive resorts were the answer. Then, last February, I went to one in Cancun.
It was a disaster. The food? Bland. The entertainment? Cringe-worthy. The service? Non-existent. I spent 36 hours in a place that promised paradise and delivered… well, let’s just say I’m still trying to forget the buffet.
But here’s the thing: it’s not just that this particular resort was bad. It’s that the whole concept is flawed. All-inclusive resorts are the fast food of the travel industry. They’re cheap, they’re easy, and they’re completley unsatisfying.
Why All-Inclusive Resorts Are the Worst
First of all, let’s talk about the food. You know that friend of yours who’s always talking about how they ‘can’t cook, but they can make a mean frozen pizza’? That’s what all-inclusive resorts are like. They’re the frozen pizza of the culinary world.
I’m not saying every meal has to be a gourmet experience. But when you’re paying $87 a night for a room, you should at least get something edible. At this resort, the only thing worse than the food was the entertainment. I saw a man in a chicken suit try to teach salsa dancing. To a group of elderly German tourists. It was a train wreck.
And don’t even get me started on the service. I once waited 45 minutes for a drink. At the bar. While sitting next to the bartender. Who was playing Candy Crush on his phone. I mean, come on.
But Wait, There’s More
Here’s where I’m gonna sound like a grumpy old man. Back in my day, we didn’t have all-inclusive resorts. We traveled. We explored. We talked to locals. We tried new things. We didn’t just sit in the same spot all day, waiting for the next buffet to open.
I get it. Travel can be scary. It’s unpredictable. It’s chaotic. But that’s the point! That’s what makes it exciting. When you go to a new place, you should feel like a kid on Christmas morning. Not like you’re waiting in line at the DMV.
And look, I’m not saying you should never stay at a resort. Sometimes, you just need to relax. But if you’re going to do it, do it right. Find a place with good food, good service, and good entertainment. Don’t just settle for the first thing that pops up on your Google search.
Speaking of which, have you seen the breaking news update today? Apparently, there’s a new resort opening up in Vegas that’s supposed to be amazing. I’m not sure if I believe it, but hey, maybe they’ll surprise me.
A Tangent: The Time I Tried to Be a Local
About three months ago, I was in Barcelona. I had this brilliant idea that I was gonna be a local for a day. So, I woke up early, put on my ‘I heart Barcelona’ t-shirt (which, by the way, I bought at a tourist trap), and set out to explore.
First stop: the market. I thought I was gonna find all these amazing local ingredients. You know, the kind of stuff you see on cooking shows. Instead, I found a bunch of overpriced souvenirs and a guy trying to sell me a fake Rolex. I mean, really? A fake Rolex in Barcelona? Talk about cliché.
But then, I met this old woman. She was selling olives. Not just any olives, mind you. These olives were the best olives I’ve ever had. She told me all about how they were made, how they were cured, how they were… well, I’m not gonna lie, I zoned out a bit. But the point is, I had a real conversation with a real local. And that’s something you’re never gonna get at an all-inclusive resort.
The Bottom Line
So, here’s the deal. If you wanna go on vacation, go on vacation. But don’t just go to some resort where they’re gonna treat you like a number. Get out there. Talk to people. Try new things. Make memories. And for the love of all that is holy, don’t eat the buffet.
And look, I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But I’ve learned from them. And I’m gonna keep learning. Because that’s what travel is all about. It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey. (Yeah, I just said that. Deal with it.)
Anyway, I’m gonna go pack my bags. I’m headed to Thailand next week. Wish me luck.
About the Author
I’m Sarah, a travel writer with a love for adventure and a hatred for all-inclusive resorts. I’ve been to 47 countries and counting, and I’m not planning on stopping anytime soon. When I’m not writing, you can find me exploring new cities, trying new foods, and complaining about bad service. Follow my adventures on mobileholders.com.
